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Just for shits and giggles…

“I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I think that being an adult just isn’t going to work out for me.”

“I am not an early bird or night owl. I am some form of permanently exhausted pigeon.”

“Some people couldn’t be nice even if a unicorn shoved a fairy wand up their ass while Judy Garland stood there singing ‘Somewhere Over The Rainbow’.”

“Stop petting my peeves.”

“My decision-making skills closely resemble that of a squirrel when crossing the road.”

“I walk around like everything is fine, but deep deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.”

“I’m worried that my guardian angel is a crack head.”

“Today I’m wearing a lovely shade of ‘I slept like shit, so don’t piss me off’.”

“Never do the same mistake twice… unless he’s hot.”

“I don’t sugar coat shit – I’m not Willy Wonka.”

“I give a fuck. I give lots of fucks, actually. I’m a prostitute of feelings.”

“Every box of raisins is a tragic tale of grapes that could have been wine.”

“I’m sorry we fought. I hate it when you’re wrong.”

“Soooo, it turns out that being an adult is just googling how to do stuff.”

“Trying to understand the behavior of some people is like trying to smell the color 9.”

“Don’t try to tell me that hungry is not an emotion because I feel that shit in my soul.”

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